Ask for Help!
I don't know if this ever happens to you guys, but for me, many times it takes reading something in a book to notice the issues it deals with in my own life. Recently I read Pretending to Be Normal: Living With Asperger's Syndrome by Lianne Holliday Willey. When the author described how she had trouble asking for help in her college years, it was as though I was able to reevaluate events I'd seen personally in a new light. In short, I realized that asking for help was a huge problem my sister had been dealing with. Recently she had a bit of a scare which was like pulling teeth to get her to talk about; even though it turned out to be a false alarm, if there had truly been a problem I wouldn't have been able to help her because I didn't know the problem existed. And that thought scared me.
I don't know if this is a problem specific to the Aspie/autie community, or if this is simply a problem that every person faces and is simply more difficult to deal with if you're on the spectrum, but either way it deserves addressing here. It's okay to ask for help. And it also bears mentioning that just because you can't solve a situation, that doesn't mean it's unsolvable. Other people have different perspectives when they look at situations or may even have more knowledge about it than you. In short, they may succeed in solving problems even if you found them impossible.
The university resources are there to support you. College advisors are literally paid to help students like you with your academic problems. Resident assistants and resident life coordinators are on staff to help you in your dorm rooms with everything from roommate problems to homesickness. Counselors and psychologists are there to help you with any mental or emotional turmoil you may be dealing with. Financial Aid will explain loans, scholarships, and the money details to you. Students with Disabilities Services is there to help you explain autism to other parties and help you manage its impact on your college life. And that's not even counting in supportive family!*
In short, there are a great deal of supports out there to help you in college. In the university setting, particularly at large universities, there won't be teachers there to monitor how you're doing and report back to your parents. So while there are supports, they won't know there's a problem unless you go to them. It's like a safety net that only goes into effect when you press the emergency button - if you don't signal to the net that you need help, it won't be there to catch you and you'll be in for a nasty fall. So as soon as you see signs that you might need help, play it safe and reach out to the appropriate support. If you don't get help from the first person, reach out to another. Don't get discouraged; you're bound to run into some less than helpful university staff during this experience, but I assure you, for every one of those are another five who are extremely helpful student advocates.
I don't know if this is a problem specific to the Aspie/autie community, or if this is simply a problem that every person faces and is simply more difficult to deal with if you're on the spectrum, but either way it deserves addressing here. It's okay to ask for help. And it also bears mentioning that just because you can't solve a situation, that doesn't mean it's unsolvable. Other people have different perspectives when they look at situations or may even have more knowledge about it than you. In short, they may succeed in solving problems even if you found them impossible.
The university resources are there to support you. College advisors are literally paid to help students like you with your academic problems. Resident assistants and resident life coordinators are on staff to help you in your dorm rooms with everything from roommate problems to homesickness. Counselors and psychologists are there to help you with any mental or emotional turmoil you may be dealing with. Financial Aid will explain loans, scholarships, and the money details to you. Students with Disabilities Services is there to help you explain autism to other parties and help you manage its impact on your college life. And that's not even counting in supportive family!*
In short, there are a great deal of supports out there to help you in college. In the university setting, particularly at large universities, there won't be teachers there to monitor how you're doing and report back to your parents. So while there are supports, they won't know there's a problem unless you go to them. It's like a safety net that only goes into effect when you press the emergency button - if you don't signal to the net that you need help, it won't be there to catch you and you'll be in for a nasty fall. So as soon as you see signs that you might need help, play it safe and reach out to the appropriate support. If you don't get help from the first person, reach out to another. Don't get discouraged; you're bound to run into some less than helpful university staff during this experience, but I assure you, for every one of those are another five who are extremely helpful student advocates.
*These resources may have different names at your university, but don't get discouraged if they're under a different title. Just go to the university website and look for its equivalent at your school. This may be easier to do if you visit your school's A-Z Site Index, or do a simple Google search.
Give Your Input!
Have you ever dealt with a rough spot at school where you needed help and either chose to reach out for help or had trouble asking? Did you learn anything from that situation that you would like to share with other readers? Contact Me to share your experience and help others!
Have you ever dealt with a rough spot at school where you needed help and either chose to reach out for help or had trouble asking? Did you learn anything from that situation that you would like to share with other readers? Contact Me to share your experience and help others!