"Coming Out" As Autistic: Should You Disclose?
Disclosure has some ups and downs. Many people have concerns with being categorized into the "autism" category by others without a passing glance; others think it simply shouldn't matter. My sister, who has Asperger's, chose to disclose, so using her experiences we'll weigh the pros and cons.
In the college context, I've been able to see first hand how disclosure has protected her. Not only has it qualified her to accommodations from housing and Students with Disabilities Services, but it's also served as a social shield. Whenever she flubs and offends someone, she can remind them that she has autism and it seems to work well to abate others' anger/annoyance. In fact, when I mentioned that I was working on this website to a guy I didn't know, without mentioning my sister, he started talking really excitedly about this girl who was so open about her diagnosis and how much he respected that (and what a cool person he thought she was)...and it turned out the girl he was talking about was my sister. My excitement to hear that as a big sister aside, that's an example of what disclosure can do for you.
That said, this reasoning might not work for you. Your case might be very different from my sister's and disclosure definitely has its downsides. In my sister's case, she has discovered that there is a group of people who will treat her as though she is, in her words, mentally retarded. My sister says that the pros of disclosure still outweigh the cons in this case because this is only on occasion and it's very easy to disprove those people. Should they continue to treat her that way, she says she doesn't mind either. It just reveals what type of people they are and if they're treating her like that, they're not people she'll want to hang out with anyway. That said, you might not agree with this logic.
Even without the diagnosis, my sister tends to get that kind of treatment. As humans, unfortunately in this case, we are very good at picking up on 'different'ness. At least with the diagnosis, she's better able to explain if she makes a social mistake. Unfortunately, a diagnosis isn't a complete shield from bullying and misunderstandings. I have had others, despite knowing she has autism, tell me that her behavior isn't really because of autism. As a result I've concluded that ignorance of what autism is, particularly with regards to high functioning autism, can lower the potential benefits of disclosure.
In short, this is an intensely personal decision which will vary depending on your situation and personal beliefs. I hope that this article has helped you think more about the potential benefits (and drawbacks) of disclosure.
In the college context, I've been able to see first hand how disclosure has protected her. Not only has it qualified her to accommodations from housing and Students with Disabilities Services, but it's also served as a social shield. Whenever she flubs and offends someone, she can remind them that she has autism and it seems to work well to abate others' anger/annoyance. In fact, when I mentioned that I was working on this website to a guy I didn't know, without mentioning my sister, he started talking really excitedly about this girl who was so open about her diagnosis and how much he respected that (and what a cool person he thought she was)...and it turned out the girl he was talking about was my sister. My excitement to hear that as a big sister aside, that's an example of what disclosure can do for you.
That said, this reasoning might not work for you. Your case might be very different from my sister's and disclosure definitely has its downsides. In my sister's case, she has discovered that there is a group of people who will treat her as though she is, in her words, mentally retarded. My sister says that the pros of disclosure still outweigh the cons in this case because this is only on occasion and it's very easy to disprove those people. Should they continue to treat her that way, she says she doesn't mind either. It just reveals what type of people they are and if they're treating her like that, they're not people she'll want to hang out with anyway. That said, you might not agree with this logic.
Even without the diagnosis, my sister tends to get that kind of treatment. As humans, unfortunately in this case, we are very good at picking up on 'different'ness. At least with the diagnosis, she's better able to explain if she makes a social mistake. Unfortunately, a diagnosis isn't a complete shield from bullying and misunderstandings. I have had others, despite knowing she has autism, tell me that her behavior isn't really because of autism. As a result I've concluded that ignorance of what autism is, particularly with regards to high functioning autism, can lower the potential benefits of disclosure.
In short, this is an intensely personal decision which will vary depending on your situation and personal beliefs. I hope that this article has helped you think more about the potential benefits (and drawbacks) of disclosure.
Further Resources
Read a discussion of the pros and cons of disclosing vs not from a person on the spectrum who has experienced both here. The author supplies a great chart to help you figure out which decision sounds like the best one for you, and I highly recommend reading it.
Give Your Input!
What have your experiences with disclosure been? Have any advice for others? Contact Me and share your thoughts with others!
What have your experiences with disclosure been? Have any advice for others? Contact Me and share your thoughts with others!